Dear Journal
by TheBlackRaveness
Summary: Rikku writes down her feelings about a certain someone...and a very distressing happening in the farplane.
1. Life so Sweet

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, yada, yada, yada. Yes this is cheesy I know…I wrote this…I don't know…A long time ago. Without caffeine, and half asleep.

Tayn uinhym,

__

Sometime in the Evening

Here I lay, I feel like I'm dying. I feel like a chocobo having its spirit slowly broken. How could he have said those things, you know? Was he an Al-Bhed hater or something? No of course not…That'd mean his friend's wife…no…not an Al-Bhed hater. All I know, the more I'd open up to him the more he had shut me out. What did I ever do? I'm a good person, you know? What did anyone ever do? Did he even have feelings? Or was he protecting us from the heartache? When he wanted to call out, and scream and cry, did he restrain himself so we didn't get too attached? So when he left me…us…we'd hate him? His plan didn't work, I just missed him more. I had all the open doors, but I was too scared to walk through, you know? But now that I think about it, what did I have to lose? Why did I stop myself? Pops always said, let love go, and if it comes back, its true love. I never followed that…I never let go…But still he never came back. I go to the farplane constantly now. Though he's just a memory, I can yell at him, but I miss those witty remarks from that weathered face. I'm going to visit him again tonight, alone. To yell, to cry, to tell him how much I love him. Auron why'd you leave me here…alone, when you just started to come out of your shell? I love you, you know. No wait, no you don't, but tonight…you will. Yes tonight, you will.

Tayn uinhym,

__

After I visited Auron

Oh…this is bad…bad…bad…bad! Oh but it's soooo good too! I went to see Auron today. I saw him floating there, lifelessly…as always. I told him how I felt. I told him I loved him so much, and that I wanted to cry it out on Mt. Gagazet, you know. But then I apologized and told him I had to get going. I left the farplane, and stood right outside of that yucky gook. Oh I felt so bad for just leaving, and I ran back inside. I thought about him, but he didn't come. I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking about his beautiful face. He didn't come. Was it something I said? He's alive…somewhere! If he's not at the farplane….he's somewhere…out there. He heard my every thought…could it be love that brings one back? Then what about Tidus…oh he never was at the farplane. You know, I just kept thinking and thinking, and hoping to see his face. But he never showed…and I miss him…But he's alive? Right? Oh Journal, tell me he's alive! I will go find him. But will he laugh at me like he…

[The writing gets sloppy near the end, and picks up completely different.]

Du so taynacd Rikku, fru pnuikrd sa pylg,

__

Sometime after your visit…and at the Inn in Guadosalam.

I don't know how long I was there…but you visiting me every single day…it brought me so much joy. You expressed to me everything that I felt for you…feel for you. When I was at the farplane that day when I met you, when I said "Look at me" kept playing through my head. To see your beautiful eyes, to hear your angelic voice. Oh Rikku, why would I laugh? Why would I laugh at you? You've grown so much, in the passed…I don't know. But you've grown. Write not any more tales of sadness. For now I'm back.

Auron

Author's Notes: 

Du so taynacd rikku, fru pnuikrd sa pylg means in english To my dearest Rikku, who brought me back

Tayn unihym means Dear Journal.


	2. True Path to Happiness

Disclaimer: Finally! The last chapter for Dear Journal! I know some of you have been begging me to get it done, and write more! Oh this chapter is so sweet, I get all teary eyed. I wish Auron was real! I want him! :: Cries :: Please give me feed back and what you think. I might _write_ a little bonus chapter. I just _might_ if the feed back is good!

Tayn unihym

__

Day after Auron came back

Oh, is this a dream? Some wonderful dream? Auron has come back to me. Oh and I sit here watching him sleep peacefully on the bed. I have to tell Yunie. I must tell them! Auron is back! He's back! But Yuna…she'll be heart broken…she can't find Tidus. But my love of my life…she will be happy for me…right? Oh he's so gorgeous when he sleeps. And last night when he just strolled into the room, and I was shocked, he just embraced me. It felt like seconds in the caring embrace I've witnessed for the first time, but in actuality it was hours. He smiled sweetly and took you, my dear journal, and he wrote in you! See! Oh and after that he hugged me, as I clung to him like he was going to disappear. But he's alive…and alive for good. Alive for me. He was tired though, getting free from the farplane wore him out. We slept happily next to each other, oh it was heaven I tell you! Heaven! His cheek on my shoulder, and his arm wrapped around my little waist. Oh I was going to cry from all the joy! Dear Journal, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up! Ever! Oh I gotta go, the sleeping warrior is stirring. Oh I just want to kiss him! Will he mind, I better go now. I see him rubbing the sleep from that glorious eye!

Tayn unihym

__

Same day and after we told Yunie and all them

Yuna cried. I felt so bad! I just wanted to hold her and tell her I'm sorry over and over again. But then she said that by Auron coming back, it gave her tears of hope. Tidus is still out there, and waiting to be found. I gave Yunie hope. Oh this morning, I never told you what happened before we found Yunie in Bevelle. Auron and I had the most wonderful morning greetings! He's no long that man hidden deep within that shell. He's open and he smiles and he laughs and…oh I can still feel the heat in my face when he yanked me into his arms and kissed me! Oh if Yevon were true, I'd be rejoicing in his name. Al-Bhed or not! We're in Yunie's big manor now, she was so kind to let us stay. We partied hard…well I did actually. I got to see Wakka, Lulu, and Kimahri again! They were so surprised when they saw Auron. I was running around talking to every one, smiling as Auron caught up with the passed year events. He finally found out he was gone for a year, and I saw that tortured look in his eye when I told him. He told me he felt so bad for leaving me like that. All that pain was gone, he's with me now! Auron told me he was happy he could have Bevellian Sake. He let me have a sip of the rice-wine and told me not to drink to much, I could get intox…what was the word…Intix…no I believe it's intoxicated. Something like that. Oh I'm watching Auron gracefully walk around the giant room talking to Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri, and Yuna. He's such a gentleman. The warrior monks (the older generation) are shrinking off to the side as if to say I'm sorry! Don't hurt me! You know. That's funny. Even as an excommunicated monk they still fear him. Oh…wait…maybe it's because he's alive. Yes! He's alive! In the flesh! He's not an unsent! He was reborn into Spira human! That hunky human he is! Oh I hope he doesn't find you dear journal…I'd be embarrassed if he read this. Oh he's coming over to me with Sake! YUMMY! Gotta go!

Tayn unihym

__

A few months after my last entry and in the Thunderplain's Inn

I'm so sorry! I haven't written in you in ages! But time goes by fast when I'm with Auron…I'm so happy. But Yuna seems to grow anxious day after day, her searching for Tidus never stops. Oh I hope she finds him. For the sake of her happiness. Auron told me he's going to make me not fear lightning, but he has no idea that I'm not scared any more when I'm in his arms. Oh journal life is so sweet for me. I remember when he first threatened to ditch me at the agency to continue the pilgrimage. I thought he was an old stick in the mud with a cactaur up his cute little butt! Oh don't tell him I said he was cute, and that…I love his adorable butt! I must confide in you before Auron gets out of the shower. Oh day I was waking up and I saw Auron stroll in, with his wet hair and in a towel and…I almost swooned. He was looking for something…I don't know what, but I didn't want him to go! He was in a towel! That was sexy, you know. Even with the battle scars from fiends cutting through his leather armor, he was so gorgeous. I willed him to drop his towel so I could get a look at…his…umm…butt. Oh almost on command little clumsy Auron's hand slipped and I saw his butt. Oh I passed out. When I woke up Auron just thought I was waking up for once that morning. Never will I tell him I saw his butt. Keep it secret, I love my Auron!

Tayn unihym

__

A year and in Bevelle in our house

Oh! I feel awfully guilty! One year! One whole year without you! Oooh you'd never guess journal! Auron and I got a house together! Well actually…it was his house like eleven or twelve years ago, before he went away with Braska. His house is so beautiful, and we live together and two months ago was when he mustered up the courage to say I love you to me, and guess what! We're engaged! I'm so happy! Auron and I, living together in a machina city, and getting married and…Oh HYNE I love Auron! When Auron proposed it was so sweet. We were out with Yuna, Lulu, Kimahri, and Wakka out in Besaid on the beach. It was sunset and I was splashing Wakka in the face with water, and Wakka looked like he was going to drag me under the water. Lulu and Yuna were swimming around chasing Kimahri and Auron was lying out on the beach in black swimming trunks and that red trench coat of his. He looked beautiful. We were all happy then, and we are now! I remember running out of the water like a tonberry that just lit its green tail on fire, and I jumped on Auron getting salt water all over him! He just laughed and jokingly shoved me in the sand. He lifted me up and everyone was watching us, and he ran with me into his arms and dunked me in the water! Yuna laughed and took the opportunity to jump on Kimahri's back like old times. He swam around with her while Wakka tried to avoid Lulu's splashing. Auron just twirled me in the water, and in his arms, that coat billowing behind him in the water. It was so beautiful, the I clung to him, laughing like a two year old and kissed him. I told him I loved him. Then…it was like time slowed down just for the two of us. He whispered in my ear that he loved me too! So romantic you know! Then he leaned his head back and looked to the sky, and shouted out he loved me! Everyone stopped to stare at us smiling like idiots in the water! Then he held me with one arm and reached into his coat with the other and pulled out a small box. I was going to cry, I knew what is was, and he flicked it open and there it was. On a gold and silver band entwined together was an emerald with two diamonds on either side. He leaned down and kissed me and murmured into my lips to marry him. I cried that night. I was so happy and everyone hugged us and we—we were happy. I love Auron so much. I can't possibly imagine my life without him.

Tayn Rikku,

__

While you sleep

I found your journal tucked away between the wall and our bed. I'm watching your beautiful sleeping form, you're so beautiful…So innocent. I'm glad you're so happy, and that you remember so vividly that special day. I lie next to you, writing this entry in this old leather bound book. This seems to be the last page too. Whatever happened to the previous entries, you ripped out. I don't question you why. I'm just glad you're happy. You've grown into a beautiful woman that I'm proud to love until the ending of Spira. I noticed the entry about you seeing my butt, while you pretended to sleep. I'll have to get you back with that one. I don't understand how you can love an old fart like me, but I'm happy. I love you too. Here I'll confide my deepest confession. During Yuna's pilgrimage when I was opening up to you, when I wanted to scream and cry I did want to run to you. During those nights in Mt. Gagazet I watched you sleep, and I was by your side, keeping you warm. During those nights at the Thunderplains I was in your room watching you, to make sure you slept. I'm sorry I hurt you so much when I was an unsent and when I was gone. I know I should stop apologizing, you'll lecture me. But I don't care, I love you. I'm glad you're going to be my wife to be. Ironically we'll be married by a Yevonite. Rikku, when you let love go, when you let me go, I came back. I came back to you, and I will always love you.

Love,

Your Knight in Red


End file.
